Jealous Husband

Jealous husband to his wife: Honey where are you?

Wife: I’m home.

Jealous husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Of course I am sure

Jealous husband: OK then, turn on the blender

Wife: Oh, OK! (turns the blender on) reeereereee

Jealous husband: Oh, fine then honey. See you later, bye.

Another day, the husband to his wife: Honey where are you?

Wife: I’m home.

Jealous husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes I am!

Jealous husband: Turn on the blender again

Wife: Ohh… (turns on blender) reereereee

Jealous husband: OK, bye love, see you later.

The next day, the jealous husband decides not to call but instead go home without any notice. He finds his daughter home alone, and the jealous husband asks her: “Honey, where is your mommy?’

Daughter: Oh, I don’t know daddy, she went out and took the blender with her.

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Daughter Accidentally Finds Mom Having an Affair. Then Dad Calls.

“Hello. Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy. She is upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul.”

After a short pause, daddy says: “but honey, you don’t have an uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes, mommy says I do and he is upstairs with mommy in the bedroom right now.”

After a short time daddy says: “Okay, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and scream that daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back on the phone.

“I did it daddy.”

“And what happened honey?” daddy asked.

“Well, mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. The she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all.”

“Oh my God!!!! And what happened to your uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week and cleaned it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he is dead.”

*Long pause …*

The daddy says,

“Swimming pool? …. Is this 486-5731?”