A third-grade teacher always took roll call each morning and had the pupils’ answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher’s pet. He stood and said, “My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, … Read more
Little Johnny, 6 years old, gets home from school. He had his first family planning lesson at school. His mother, is very interested & she asks “…How did it go?” “I died of shame”…he answers! Annie from over the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at … Read more
One Sunday morning, an old lady headed to church late. Because she couldn’t find her hearing aid. As she was late and did not want to be noticed, she sat in the back, next to a teenager. The pastor began his preach. To have an example for what he was preaching, he asked, “Everyone who … Read more
A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success. Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in the kitchen. … Read more
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little boy who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The Little Johnny replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows … Read more
Ma and Pa were two hillbillies. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. So he went into the house and tells Ma that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, “Why don’t you go ask the young’n down the road? He must be smart ’cause … Read more
Mickey had been in police work for 35 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet: After six months or so of … Read more
Norma and Sonia were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays: Norma said. “My daughter-in-law stopped making my grandchildren send their ‘thank you’ notes. Each year I sent the grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I always received a lovely `thank you’ note. However, since my daughter-in-law stopped making the grandkids send thank … Read more
A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day… She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favourite: a sandwich on Italian bread, made with turkey, American cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His … Read more
An atheist was walking through the woods admiring the nature around him. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals,” he said to himself: As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, and suddenly saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge toward him! … Read more