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An Octopus goes into a bar and says:
“I can play any musical instrument going!”
Someone gives him a guitar and he starts to play like Jimi Hendrix.
The bartender motions to the piano, which he sits in front of and promptly starts playing, better than Elton John.
A Scotsman tosses him a set of Bagpipes.
The Octopus fumbles around for a couple of minutes.
The Scotsman says
“what’s wrong…can ye’ not play it?”
“Play it!?! I’m gonna’ scr*w her brains out once I figure out how to get her pyjamas off!”