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A couple had been married for only two weeks when the husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies.
And so he said to his new wife,
“Honey, I’ll be right back…”
“Where are you going coochy cooh…?” asked the wife.
“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.” He said.
The wife said to him, “you want a beer, my love? See.”
Then she opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer- brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
Not knowing what to do, the husband thought of something different and said to the wife,
“Yes, honey… but the bar…. you know… the frozen glass…”
He didn’t even get to finish the sentence when the wife interrupted him saying,
“You want a frozen glass puppy face?”
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills just by holding it.
The husband was frustrated but luckily he thought of a winner excuse,
“Yes, sweetie, but at the bar, they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t belong. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres poochy pooh?”
Again, she opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
“But sweet honey…at the bar…you know…the swearing, the dirty words and all that…”
The wife smiled and said,
“you want some dirty words cutie pie?”…here,
“SIT THE F*CK DOWN – DRINK YOUR F*KING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*CKING MUG – EAT YOUR F*CKING SNACKS! YOU AREN’T GOING TO THE F*CKING BAR !!! GOT IT, A$SEHOLE ?!?!”