A huge crab walks into a bar and says to the barman,
“I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. “
“The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius.
The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided.
If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted.”