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It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl.
It’s empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks.
Papa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl and it’s empty!
“Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars.
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams,
“For God’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the table, it was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat’s water and food dish,
And, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-b*tts downstairs, and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I’m only going to say this one more time. I haven’t made the f**king porridge, yet!”