After many years of marriage, Ethel’s husband Fred had turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day.
Ethel was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom.
Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a burly chest, a powerful beak, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported “Looney bird” and it had a very peculiar trait.
To demonstrate, he exclaimed,
“Looney bird! The table!”
Immediately, the bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws!
To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said,
“Looney bird! The shelf!” Again, the bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
“Wow!” said the wife, “If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will!”
So, she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game.
“Honey!” she exclaimed,
“I’ve got a surprise for you! A Looney bird!”
The husband, in his usual bored tone, replied,
“Looney Bird, my a#%!”