A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she said.
“He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”
The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife:
“Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife.
Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.
The husband climbed out of bed and counted.
One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right.
It’s only a joke! Don’t take it too seriously… LOL!
A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work – not aware that her 9-year-old son is hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
“Dark in here,” the boy whispers.
“Yes, it is,” the man replies awkwardly.
“I have a baseball. Want to buy it?”
“My dad’s outside.”
“Okay, how much?”
A few weeks later, the same thing happens, and the boy and the mom’s lover find themselves in the closet together.
“Dark in here.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I have a baseball glove. Want to buy it?”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!”
“I can’t,” the boy replies. “I sold them.”
“How much did you sell them for?” the dad asks.
“$1,000,” the boy proudly announces.
“That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that,” the father says, shocked. “That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
At church that Sunday, the father alerts the priest, makes his child sit in the confession booth, and closes the door.
“Dark in here,” the boy says.
The priest replies, “Don’t start that sh*t again.”